in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
