I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
