If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
