Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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