i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize