i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pants are for mortals
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
