I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
