did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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