I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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