I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I touched a dick in church today
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
