He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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