The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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