Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
