Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
