Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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