Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
