I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
