He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
