Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
