do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
