"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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