1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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