My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
