so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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