im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
