look no pants
i will never coherently bang her
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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