Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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