Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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