marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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