Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
