My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
