She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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