Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
