Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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