Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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