Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
