I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
