Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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