I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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