You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
