I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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