dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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