your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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