...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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