In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
3pm strippers are depressing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
