That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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