I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
