I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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