I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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