God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
