And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I want is dick and wine.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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