gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
