I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i need some magic done to my vagina
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
