how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
