Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you win again, gameday.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
