through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
