The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
