Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
