It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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