Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
