you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize