Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
