Porn is love you can see.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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