you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
