I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
