thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
