Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize