I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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