and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
