He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
