At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
