Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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