Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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