Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize