There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
