we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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